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I’d like to take this time to bring this up because it is a cause that is near and dear to my heart. The amount of “ashiness” is on the rise and estimates say that it could reach epidemic proportions if we stand aside and allow this travesty to occur. I mean seriously, look at poor Ashy Larry from Comedy Central’s Chappelle Show. Would you let this happen to you? Exactly!!
It's too late for him but not for you
We must do something. So here is my proposition:
Out of the sheer goodness of my heart, I propose that I should create a foundation called the”Keep The Ash Away” Foundation. It is a huge initiative to have everyone lotion themselves properly and frequently. We are looking for financial support for this immediate and important cause. All donations of a financial nature will go towards buying huge encashments of lotions, skin oinments, & oils. We’ve got to get rid of this ash. Crusty elbows, knees, hands, & ankles have got to go!!!
Won’t you help? Your small donation of $0.25 cents per month is all it takes. You can text A-S-H-Y on your mobile phone to S-K-I-N. That’s only $3 per year. Won’t you help? The little you do can really make a big difference. Remember this ailment has no color, creed, religion, or national border. We need your help.
I am thinking focus groups, national media campaigns, getting K.T.A.A.F. dispensers in the school systems, and dropping hand lotion across the states that have crazy winters (especially Ohio).
Also see this post by Radio Ventriloquist on this subject.
Now in all seriousness, please lotion yourselves before going out in public. You may hurt someone you love if they are seen with you. My lotion solutions are at the Experience Aurie Store located on the sidebar.
Experience Aurie 
Hilarious! I’m going to donate. I know someone and I used to avoid walking with them in public, it wasn’t pretty!
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Aurie,
wow, thanks for the link. BTW, I found a comment back at that old post that could be quite helpful. I’ll quote here:
What I’ve found works best is putting the baby oil in a spray bottle, then spraying it all over your wet skin and rubbing it in that way you get even coverage everywhere.
Rub heavy granulated brown sugar on your lips to exfoliate (use sugar so that if it gets into your mouth it doesn’t poison you), then follow up with some shea butter to keep them soft and kissable.
~SimplEnigma ( http://memoirsofadater.blogspot.com/ )~
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Not to put my business out there, but Jamaican Jewel will love you for this tip because I’ll be using this advice for sure. I’m tired of the wet rag after showering.
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…great post Aurie, and on a topic that many of US need to hear… myself included. I bike on a regular basis which helps me stay healthy,but definitely contributes to the need to moisturize my skin… Cocoa Butter and recently added… Shea Butter are ‘must haves’ at my place. I have to admit, I have been called out for leaving the house without in the past…never again!
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